Anyone close to me knows my love for the old TV show,
Friends. For the longest time and still
in a few circles people refer to me as Chandler. Anyways, there is this one scene in Friends
where Ross is telling his student of a girlfriend his nicknames for kids in his
class; Sleepy Sleeperson, Smelly von Brownshirt, and Cutie McPretty (yes it is
a gift and a curse being able to remember that, it is my “special power” I
guess.) Then a colleague of Ross’s sees
him from a distance and calls to him.
Ross, knowing that he shouldn’t be dating a student, pushes her into an
alley. Later on as he describes the
events to his friends he describes the other professor as Judgey von
Holierthanthou.
Although that particular situation is not the focus of this
post, I really like the name “Judgey von Holierthanthou.” I feel that it sums up how many people feel
about Christians in general. And maybe
it’s not just Christians; obviously we ALL can be pretty “judgey” and critical
of others. Of course I am pointing a
finger at myself in this matter. Let’s
be honest for a second though; judging others is so easy to do. It’s a good way of taking the attention from
our own imperfections and turning them towards something we THINK is worse.
Most people will tell you that I am a pretty easy going
person. I enjoy having fun and cracking
jokes. I like to think of myself as
someone who is easy to talk to as well.
Something that many people don’t know about me is that I HAVE to be
liked. I don’t know what it is but I
just have this obsession of wanting and having people like me. Yes, there are a few exceptions to this, but
95% of the time, this is true.
This wanting comes out in the way I interact with those
around me. I find myself agreeing with
people when it comes to the judgment of others.
For example, I was talking with some coworkers and the subject quickly
changed as one of them started to talk negatively about one of our other
coworkers. “I just don’t get why ‘blank’
does what they do? They are a piece of
work.” I am paraphrasing of course. At that moment, I wanted to feel accepted and
feel like ‘one of the group’ so I added, “I know right. I also hate that ‘blank’ does this too.” Again, paraphrasing.
Late last week, I was in a very similar situation and I
started to chime in as usual when I could hear God asking me, “Why? Why are you doing this?” My entire body tensed up and my arm hair
stood straight up at the question.
Conviction! Why was I sitting
there casting judgment on others and gossiping about them behind their
back? I felt like complete scum. I know that I have my own insecurities, but
the consequences of these actions go deeper than that.
As I previously mentioned, it is perceived by many people who
are nonbelievers that Christians act like “Judgey von Holierthanthous” and
judge them over all their actions. I
remember my wife telling me a story about a friend of hers (a nonbeliever) that
confessed a sin that she committed in her life and with genuine sorrow turned
to my wife and said, “Do you hate me now?”
My wife without hesitation responded, “Of course not. Why would I hate you?” Her friend’s simple response was, “You know
because of Jesus.” WOW! This is how a lot of nonbelievers feel in my
opinion. They feel that because us
Christians believe and follow Jesus that we will judge them for their sin. I would like to say that my wife did an
awesome job and told her that it is actually because of Jesus that she didn’t
judge her and loved her no matter what.
My wife’s response is a prime example of how we should treat
those who sin or do things that we may not necessarily agree with; surround
them with love. By gossiping with my
coworkers I am not supporting the sinner.
As a matter of fact I am actually damaging the reputation of other
Christians! If nonbelievers believe that
all Christians are judgmental and I sit there and badmouth others like all the
rest of them, then how am I showing the love of Christ or representing the
Kingdom of God?! Simple: I’m not!
1 John 4:7-8 says, “Dear friends, let us love one another,
for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God.
Whoever does not love does not know God,
because God is love.” As it shows in
these scriptures, I have been born of God after accepting Jesus as my Savior;
therefore I am now love as well. God’s
love should be shining through me!!
So to refer back to my original post, there is a turning away
aspect to this whole thing. For me, I
must turn away from negative conversations with my coworkers. I don’t want them thinking I am just another
gossip. I want them to see that I am
different. In addition, I need to stand
up for those that are being gossiped against.
Yesterday I attempted this. As I
was in a conversation with a coworker, the subject quickly changed towards
gossip of another. Instead of adding on,
I decided to defend the other person a little and try to view things from their
perspective. I was so nervous, but I did
it anyways. And guess what; the other
person started to agree with me. Man,
God is so good. This was only a baby
step, but a step none the less.
Okay so case closed right?
Wrong! There is always a deeper
meaning. I mentioned earlier that I have
this inner drive to be liked. Why is
that? What is the root of this nature in
my life? I started to ponder these
questions. I tried to think back on my
childhood and different events from my life that may have shaped my thinking
and my need and wanting to be liked. Then
it dawned on me; none of that matters!
When I gave my life to Christ I became a new creation. I buried my old self and became a new person
in Christ Jesus. But now you are
thinking, yeah but you still act that way so why is that?
I had the same question and so I thought a little bit
more. Then finally I figured it
out. TOTAL SURRENDER! Yes I am a new creation in Christ, but I
still find myself trying to do things on my own power. I try to overcome my obstacles by human means
and not Godly. I have not SURRENDERED
this aspect of my life to God! Before I
can change this wanting of being liked in my life, I first need to understand
that I cannot do it on my own by giving it to God in prayer. Only then can I start the process of letting
God show me how to change this in my life.
Perhaps I need to look at a few other areas in my life and use this
model to get free (DUH)! IDENTIFY the
sin, SURRENDER it to God, TURN from it, and then get FREE!
Thank you Jesus for revealing a
weakness in my life and I cannot go at alone.
I surrender my urge to want to correct my insecurity to you. Please take it from me Father and heal
me. Show me the ways and steps I must
take to correct this in my life so I can bring glory to your Kingdom. Thank you for setting me free! In Jesus name, Amen!
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