I
tend to find myself daydreaming often.
It is something that I have always done.
I blame it on my ADD at times but I know that deep down I just like to
imagine the “what if.” For instance,
I’ll find myself hearing music on the radio and think, man I wish I could play
the piano or guitar like that or even sing like that person. Even watching TV or movies I think, “I could
act out that part better than that guy” or “I could write a better sequel or
season finale than that.”
This doesn't seem too harmful does it? You’re
right, it’s not that bad. But these are
small examples of me trying to compare myself to other people. What if I take it a step further? After thinking about it more, I found that I
do tend to compare my life to others around me.
It could be a friend or family member.
I look at people in my life that have the money to go on trips all the
time, buy things I want, or do other things that I wish I could do. It doesn't take long for me to get jealous
and start comparing my life to theirs.
Then
I start to ask two haunting questions; “Why can’t I live a life like that?” and
“What if I had made different decisions in the past, could I have made a
different life for myself and my family?”
Okay so technically it was three questions. Now on the surface, these questions aren't terrible. It’s okay to learn from past
mistakes to better yourself for the future, but DWELLING on these questions can
be toxic.
Allow
me to switch gears for a second to add to this.
There is this guy in the Bible named Saul. Ever heard of him? He was the first king of Israel. He was anointed as king by God himself. Saul and his army were a part of many key
defeats of the Philistines. For the most
part Saul was a good king, that is until David came onto the scene and he
became crazy jealous. After David
defeated Goliath, people started singing the praises of him.
1 Samuel 18:7-8 says, “Saul
has slain his thousands, and David his tens of thousands. Saul was very angry;
this refrain displeased him greatly.”
Saul became jealous of David. This
jealousy led Saul to be possessed by an evil spirit and he tried to kill David
several times until he finally ended his own life. Saul’s jealousy became a cancer in his life
for the rest of his days. He just
couldn’t let it go. Kind of a like the
evil queen from Snow White, “Mirror mirror on the wall, who’s the fairest of
them all?” Okay, I digress.
This hits home on so many
levels for me. How many times have I
gone on Facebook or Twitter to look at other people and see how they are living
their life? Not only do I compare myself
to someone who is doing better than me, but I do the opposite as well. I try to find someone else that may not be as
good just so I can say the phrase, “well at least I’m not as bad off as
them.” How self-absorbed am I? I am trying to nitpick just so I can say that
I am doing something better and if I can’t find anything wrong, then I immediately
turn to, “I wish I could live my life like that” or “I wish I had the skills to
do that.” That is an AWFUL way to live
life.
Okay, let me take a
metaphorical deep breath here because let’s face it, EVERYONE does this and it
can be quicksand in our life, especially spiritually. BUT God always has an answer for us. Hebrew 12:1-3 says, “Therefore, since we are
surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that
hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the
race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of
faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and
sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such
opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.”
I have been reminded
recently that God has not blessed me with every gift possible, but merely a
certain set of them. I am a terrible
singer. I certainly can’t play an
instrument, at least play it well. I
can’t grow the perfect beard. And I have
a fear of heights and spiders. But what
can I do? God has blessed me with, what
I think at least, is a good sense of humor, a tender heart, a hate for seeing
others in pain or need, and he has blessed me with a family to share this life
with. I know God has blessed me with
more, but I think you get the picture.
God has called us to
run OUR race and stay in OUR lane. The
goal is Jesus and our lane is the talents and gifts that God has blessed us
with. When I start looking over at what
one of my friends, family members, or coworkers are doing, it is going to be
easy to crash because I am not fixing my eyes on Jesus (straight ahead). I have to realize that my gifts are my own
and that even though they are different than what someone else has, it doesn't mean that I still can’t bring glory and honor to God.
After I came to this
realization, another question popped into my head, “what about someone who has
the same talents as me but might be better at it?” Example:
all my years growing up, I was considered the class-clown or the comic
relief of the group. Every now and then
another guy would come along and at times be way funnier than I was. I would get so insecure and jealous! Comedy was my thing and I should be the best
at it, so the thought of someone being funnier than I was didn't set well with
me.
I know this is such a
petty example but it is so true. There
may be other people out there who have a similar skill set as you and in fact
they may be better than you at the skill.
BUT that doesn't mean that you are not good at your skill or gift. Romans 12:4-6a says, “For as in one body we
have many members, and the members do not all have the same function, so we,
though many, are one body in Christ, and individually members one of another.
Having gifts that differ according to the grace given to us, let us use them.”
We are all a part of
the body. We are all one with
Christ. As it says at the end there,
whatever God has given you (big or small or quality of gift), LET US USE
THEM! God may have only given me a
particular kind of humor because he knows that I couldn't handle more than
that. Instead of worrying about WHAT God
has given me, I should be thankful THAT he has given me something.
God,
thank you for the gifts you have given me.
Help direct my focus on you and not on those around me so as not to
crash or stumble. I pray that I would
use the gifts you have blessed me with to bring glory to YOUR name. Thank you and it is in your son’s name,
Jesus, I pray. Amen!
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