Sarcasm

            I love sarcasm!  Almost any conversation I am a part of, I will incorporate sarcasm.  I’m always the first to point out the sarcastic tones and phrases of the Bible as well.  Like in Job 38 when God answers Job about all the awful things that have happened to him, “Where were you when I laid the foundation of the earth?  Tell me, if you have understanding.”  God himself asks a rhetorical, sarcastic question to Job.  My favorite writer and person in the Bible is Paul.  Just read through Galatians and you will see what I mean.  He doesn't shy away from sarcasm.

            It wasn't until just recently that I realized that it’s not wise to try and be the “funny” and “sarcastic” guy ALL the time.  Even looking at the examples above, it appears that God and Paul were acting sarcastically to convey a point to fellow believers or showing their frustration about something.  Over the past five years of marriage, my wife has taught me many things; how to properly fold laundry, the appropriate way to make a bed, and that there is a time and place for sarcasm.  I may think that my sarcasm and humor are fun and endearing, but little do I realize that I may be hurting someone in the process.

            There have been many occasions that my wife will be having a bad day or seek comfort from me, but yet, instead I give her a sarcastic quip to TRY and lighten her mood.  Alas, it never works.  It’s because that isn't what she wants at that time.  She is not ready to laugh or find joy at that moment.  What she is looking for is a confidante or sounding board to LISTEN to her problem and provide moral support and feedback if needed.

            So when I sit there as she is trying to be vulnerable with me and I give her a sarcastic or funny comment, I am relaying the message that I don’t take her conversation OR HER seriously.  That’s no bueno (no good)!  This obviously can extend beyond the marriage and be true at work and with friends and family.  It’s a little harder for me to realize when not to be sarcastic at work, because people are not as open with me as my wife would be.  So how do I try and spot this?

            For a better understand and solution to my issue with sarcasm I obviously turned toward the Bible.  Ephesians 4:29 says, “Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.”  Then in Ephesians 5:4 it goes on to say, “Let there be neither filthiness nor foolish talk nor crude joking, which are out of place, but instead let there be thanksgiving.” 

Well wait a minute!  If I go by these versus, then I won’t be allowed to be sarcastic at all, EVER!  Sarcasm is the way I talk and interact with everyone.  My sarcasm isn't being THAT hurtful is it?  Okay Mike, let’s take a look at your intent when using sarcasm.  Have you used sarcasm to belittle someone?  Well, yes.  Have you used it to give someone a hard time about something?  Umm yes, but.  Have you used sarcasm to show your superiority over someone?  Sigh, yes I have.

95% of the time, that is exactly why I am being sarcastic; to give someone a hard time, belittle them, or show that they are inferior to my wit.  I didn't realize that my sarcasm came from such a negative place within me.  I thought that I was just having fun.  I can only remember a handful of times over the past few weeks that I edified someone.

            This was a sad realization.  Almost anytime I opened my mouth in a conversation it normally included some sort of sarcastic quip or tone to it.  I know that many people laughed or would egg me on, but that shouldn't matter.  As a follower of Jesus Christ, only his thoughts on the matter should persuade my actions and thinking.  And by those two versus and many more I could quote; it shows that I need to build others up!

            So I have challenged myself and I hope those who read this will take a similar challenge.  When I find myself about to say something sarcastic to someone, I am going to try and PAUSE, reverse the quip into a compliment, and then proceed with a word of encouragement towards that person.  I can go ahead and tell you that this will probably be the hardest thing I have done since sarcasm is second nature to me, but I do not want to bring glory to myself but instead to God.

            Lord God, thank you for humor and laughter.  Father, I pray that I will not use sarcasm as a personal tool to further myself over another, but rather use joy and encouragement to further Your Kingdom.  Convict me and change me of my ways so I will continue to grow in You.  Thank you for your son Jesus.  In His name I pray, amen!